After embarking on 60 days of health and wellness which includes going to the gym at least 5 days a week, I have come up with my own personal list of do's and don'ts for the gym.
1. When there are 10 treadmills open in the cardio cinema room, please please PLEASE do not get on the one right next to me. There is no need! There are plenty of open machines, and you will become one of my gymenies...yes, I have them.
2. If you do happen to get on the machine next to me, I really hope you didn't just eat something highly oniony...or just stay away from onions for the rest of your life. Nothing like the fresh smell of onions to awaken my gag reflex on my 5th mile...once again, you'll be an instant gymenie.
3. Once again if you just happen to get on the machine next to me in the cardio CINEMA room [a dark room where movies are constantly playing] please turn your own music on really loud so that I can hear every word of your song instead of the movie on the screen. Please do this, I beg you to be so considerate and turn it up another notch so that you can't hear your loud panting while walking at a 2.0 setting...listen up gymenie I now missed the first 20 minutes of The Fifth Element, and caught every word of your itunes set...thank you!
4. When you just cannot get enough of your strong muscly bods and just have have have to stare intently at every single ripple of your glorious body...go in the bathroom- NOT in front of the mirrors by the weight machines. I know it might be hard not to stare at your narcissistic wonderfulness, but please refrain so I don't accidentally drop a weight on your foot.
5. I could go on for hours on the great, thoughtfull things that people do at the gym...but I'll just list one more of my favorite things. While in the sauna I absolutely LOVE it when you come in, turn your tunes up high, and then start panting and moaning while trying to do push-ups on the nasty floor. Really tops off my wonderful gym experience!
Now, there are fabulous people at the gym and I am totally for everyone getting in shape no matter what shape or size they are- BUT the next time you walk in the cardio cinema room after eating a glorious oniony lunch...leave the ipod at home and go on a machine far far away from me :)
peace, love, and all things sparkly.
